Are Men the Weaker Sex?

In a recent article at the Harvard Business Review, Alison Beard doesn’t really come out and call men weak.  She does, however, use the word silent in her description of men today.  Her framework for this description is found in a simple and provocative message:

The feminist movement has been so effective in advancing women over the past several decades that the ability of men to thrive–indeed, their fundamental role in society–is now in peril.

We have, at everyone’s fault, said that it is not okay for men to have any powerful role in the advancement of society anymore.  Books are coming out called The End of Men and Men on Strike that point to this phenomenon of men being afraid to move forward in the world of work because they are potentially afraid to admit their own weakened position–again, by the fault of everyone.

Listen, I am totally okay with women in the workplace.  I am totally okay with women who are stellar candidates for CEO positions.  I am totally okay with women who function as great CEOs.  I would even be fine working for a good woman leader in the work place.  However, I am not okay with men being afraid to speak out, work hard, and move our society forward, even if it steps on the toes of the feminist movement.

So, for example, when a female CEO openly discriminates against a male job candidate, no one says a word.  Conferences and events geared toward helping women in business remain commonplace, even in industries where they’re reaching parity with men.  Research centers focused on women win grants, but no one demands comparable funding for studies on men.

I don’t know about you, but I am sick of wimpy men who can’t adapt to an ever-increasing white-collar, female-launching, male-discriminate society.  As Beard states,

No man wants to be branded a whiny antifeminist by the growing sisterhood of leaders who are women.

My question for men (and women) is:  Why not?

This should be something we should talk about.  This is something there should be conferences on.  This is something there should be books written about.  This is something we should talk about in our churches.  This is something research centers should get grants for.

I, personally, am sick of the silence.

Conflict in Marriage is Almost Always the Man’s Fault

Think about that statement for a minute.  Conflict in marriage, I think, is almost always the man’s fault.  In fact, I might even go 100% on this one.  Though marriage is the pursuit of Jesus together, for God’s glory, between two one-flesh companions of equal dignity, value, and worth, it is also a place where sin can be magnified.  As men, we are called to a pretty high standard of leading our wives.  And as we know, leadership is not dictatorship.  Leadership is servant leadership.  What’s more, we, as men, are also called to provide and protect.  We are called not just to protect them physically, but also emotionally and mentally.  And so, where a man neglects his wife, conflict arises.  Whether it is physical, sexual, emotional, etc.  Conflict arises from unmet desires in our hearts.

Husband, you are called to know those desires and meet those desires in your wife.  You, as a man, are called to care for your wife as you would your own flesh (Ephesians 5:29).

And let me tell you, as a man who wants to love and serve his wife in great ways, I am thankful for the gospel.  Because it is in the grace of Jesus that I find unbelievable comfort and forgiveness when I fail… and it happens a lot!

Dads, Are You Doing Whatever it Takes to Lead? [AUDIO]

Tons and tons of research is being done throughout the church toward the question, “How do we reach men?”  If you know me, then you know I am know super passionate about this question.  My life, as of late, has been on a crusade for this (hence, the book), and I think that though churches are, for the most part, attempting to reach men, challenge men, engage men, and spark a sense of courageous passion in them that only the gospel of Jesus can do when it takes root in a man’s heart, there are things that are drowning men, too.

Randy Stinson, author and professor at Southern Seminary, gives two distinct problems.

1) Lots of men are addicted to pornography.  And, in all honesty, we don’t talk about this issue as much as we should.  Pornography is ravishing our men.

2) God could potentially be turning a deaf ear towards men because of how they are treating their wife.  1 Peter 3:7 shows us this, when Peter says, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (emphasis mine).

I have added 2 things to this list in my sermon below.

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Dear Stay-At-Home Mom

This is a repost from Trevin Wax’s blog, Kingdom People. Thank you, Trevin, for these words.  They are a timely reminder for this husband of a an amazing stay-at-home mom.

Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,

You are a gift of God to your husband and your kids.

But you don’t always feel that way, do you?

There’s a low-level feeling of guilt that creeps into your heart from time to time. Sometimes it bubbles over into tears, usually on lonely, difficult days.

You scan blogs and read books about being a good mom. You find some helpful tidbits here and there, often from women who are grandmothers now. Women you can learn from but who seem to have forgotten the struggle. They seem to have it all together.

In your heart, you want to be the kind of mom who trains up kids to make a difference for the kingdom. You know it’s an honor to be entrusted with these kids. You know you’ve only got one shot. You want to be the mom who teaches them the Bible, models how to pray, and trains them up in the fear of the Lord.

But most of the time you feel like you’re barely holding it all together.

Your house cleaning can’t keep up with your kids’ mess-making.

The kids embarrass you by acting up right when your guests arrive.

Your husband doesn’t get just how worn out you are by the end of the day.

You come to the end of your patience. You lose your temper.

Then you feel worse.

The last thing you consider yourself to be is a “good mom.”

And you think to yourself, It’ll be a miracle if my kids turn out okay.

And – surprisingly – that’s right where God wants to meet you. The place where you admit your powerlessness and your need for Him.

It’s only by God’s grace that any kid grows up to be a force for the kingdom.

You see, there are no perfect kids and no perfect mothers.

No matter what you read in blogs, see in magazines, and learn in books. There are sinful kids and sinful moms and dads.

And the only thing greater than both is the grace of God.

The God who says “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The God who loves to forgive, to transform, and empower.

God loves you – not because you are a good mother but just because you are His precious child.

God loves you – not because you’ve mastered all the skills of parenting but because He has.

It’s divine grace that will transform your parenting – not guilt.

It’s grace that will keep you going and serving and scrubbing when you’re exhausted and worn out.

It’s grace that will conquer your feelings of inadequacy and remind you of God’s love for you in Christ.

It’s grace that goes for the heart of your kids, not just their behavior.

God has demonstrated the fullness of His love for you through the cross of His Son, even while you were still a sinner.

He has promised you His presence.

He has spoken His approval over you in Christ.

He is the perfect Father who delights in you as a daughter.

Find in Him your Treasure and Joy. Be to others what He is to you.

So walk in freedom. Let Him hold you together when everything seems to be falling apart.

Bask in His unfailing love for you. And rest in His promise of power.