Voddie Buacham Says “Marriage is More Important Than College”
In a discussion with Voddie Baucham on a ‘single’s sense of purpose,’ Managing Editor of Boundless (a magazine for 20-somethings from Focus on the Family) Motte Brown says,
“You and your wife married as sophomores in college. And you mentioned elsewhere in your book that marriage is more important than college. Let’s talk about when men should pursue marriage. I mean, would you recommend marriage to men who pursue dating relationships in college?”
Bauchams answers saying,
“First of all, I would never recommend that anyone pursue a dating relationship. I believe dating is glorified divorce practice. You know, modern American dating has been disastrous. I believe in courtship: I believe courtship is for people who are ready to be married. And courtship is something that you enter into with the understanding that you’re investigating toward marriage. Not just, you know, “We’re kicking it and then the next thing you know we spent all this time together; it seems like marriage ought to be the logical next step.” There are a lot of people who are in bad marriages because of that. It’s kind of the default thing to do after they just hung out together for so long.
The question of when to get married is not about age; it’s about preparation. And the problem is that we’re not doing any preparation. So when people hear about early marriage now in our culture, they think of it the context of young men and women who haven’t had any training or given any thought to marriage, and they go, “Wow. That’s young.” It is, if a person hasn’t been given any training or any thought to marriage. So is 30, so is 40, if there hasn’t been any training or any thought given to marriage. But if somebody understands what marriage is and they’re being prepared for it, that’s not young at all.”
Motte says,
“Of all the opportunities young adults have in front of them, what have you found to be the most rewarding priorities for them to set?”
Baucham says,
“Marriage and family. Marriage and family.
Because it is the most lasting, most life-impacting relationship that they will have outside of the one with their parents. It is. There is nothing that will be more lasting and more life-impacting than that. That’s why I make the that statement about marriage being far more important than college. My marriage has shaped me as a man and as a follower of Christ far more than the time I spent in college did. And as far as the big picture, the long term, it will have mch more impact than that.
What do you think? Is marriage more important than an education? Have we bought into the cultural lies of pursuing degrees as the most important pursuit there is? Can you have both and still glorify God? This question should facilitate good discussion.
For more on Vodie Buacham click here.
To read the rest of this article pick up a copy of Boundless Magazine.
I think the point that Buacham is trying to make in saying that marriage is more life-impacting and lasting than college is good. I do not think however, that one should have to choose between educational pursuits (even if that is multiple doctorates) and marriage. Both pursuits can co-exist together for the glory of God. I do not think that Baucham would say this exactly, but in trying to make his point he seemed to imply the idea that one would have to choose.
GER, i am going to offer my point of view. As far as Baucham comments are concerned he is totally relevant. Adding to his point of view of young men and women deciding to get married and many deciding while still in college, i believe that the perspective one takes concerning personal dreams and aspirations will and a lot times have an effect on their marriage. It is becoming for frequent that you hear of men or women who have decided they have sacrificed enough of their lives in marriage and now want to pursue their own ambitions, while leaving their significant other deserted and broken. This idea that God has given us a choice to choose what we want to do is so misunderstood. First and foremost, marriage is the most important and most difficult relationship when one commits and takes our full attention and effort everyday. In most cases being married and going to college is a difficult decision, because both members are trying to make provisions for the other’s sake. College takes a ton of responsibility and time away from marriage especially if you have kids. So you speak in general that you should be able to do both, to me this is blind firing to say the least. I believe you have to set a priority in this matter because people do run into this all the time. If one had to choose between college and their marriage, what do you recommend? I fear that you may not have an answer, as this matter has broken many marriages. I say this in defense to those men and women who have given their all in marriage while their significant other has been on the fence contemplating whether this was the right decision and should they continue. A married and godly man or woman would observe their relationship with their creator and realize that their are no breaks or more important priorities other than pursuing their relationship with Him. So therefore, as a shadow type, their are no matters or dreams that supersede our marital relationships and responsibilities. God bless to you and all those in this situation.
I’m glad more Christian leaders are weighing in on this white elephant in the room. It’s silly to tell a mature Christian couple who have strong family backgrounds and are clear-headed in their relationship with one another that that have to wait for a college diploma and a steady career job to get married. This is borne out of the idea that a woman’s career is more important than marriage. Parents worry that their daughter will drop out of college to marry some guy and never finish their degree.
What Bochum said is great and GER completed the thought by saying they can co-exist. With supportive parents, they CAN co-exist.
Later on in the article, Voddie says something to the cue that Christian families need to start preparing their children for marriage at an early age. I completely agree with this concept. We put ideas in our children’s head about preparing themselves for the college they want to go to and what they want to accomplish, but marriage is only talked about once the child brings the idea to the parent after a couple years of college and seriously dating the same girl. You’re exactly right… it’s a big white elephant in the room. Both preparition for college/degrees/future and preparation for marriage can both co-exist together and SHOULD co-exist.